I’m not sorry. I’d like to offer an apology in the second meaning of the word, “a defense, excuse, or justification.” I’m sure someone will find my declarations about Halloween to be morose, incorrect, or unholy. Some say it is evil to celebrate death. They use “celebrate” to mean “glorify.” But they forget that it also means to “observe.”

Dear readers, you are a small and special group. Most of you know me well and love me anyway. I think you understand. For anybody who doesn’t, here’s why.

It’s inevitable

First we’re all going to die. We don’t like to think about it. The concept of our mortality is too big for most of us to believe, process, or comprehend. But it’s coming. Maybe we should face our fear of death. At least once a year. Mortality is a mirror; we should let it reveal and allow ourselves to recalibrate in light of it.

It’s human

Second, most of us have lost someone. They are our loved ones, our ancestors, our mentors, and our friends. Famous or not, no matter the creed, they are our “saints.” They are ours, bound by love.

It’s appropriate

Rituals are important. Many world traditions have rituals to honor the dead. It’s a good idea. Mexico has the Day of the Dead (Nov 2). Many Christians celebrate All Saint’s Day (Nov 1). Oct 31 festivities in the USA have roots in paganism well before they were acquired by Christianity. So the idea of Halloween is very, very old. Surely it endures in part because of our common concern with mortality and loss.

Pure glee, low pressure

For many reasons, I get giddy about Halloween. There’s oodles of fun and very little pressure. No rules. No one expects much, no hoopla over  gifts or cards. Costumes can be as simple or as fussy as one desires, and they are optional. There’s the rush of filling a bucket with nonsense, sneaking around with my kids, ringing a doorbell and running, boo-ing the neighbors.

With such low expectations, suddenly I find myself willingly and enthusiastically doing the things I’ve always criticized about Christmas–decorating the house and baking for hours.

Reality of reverence

But the real reason deep deep down that I love Halloween is because I really do love certain people who are now dead. And this is the moment I celebrate them. I have a little alter with photos. I’ve carved pumpkins in their likeness. Occasionally I stop to talk about these loved ones with my kids.

Sometimes I write about them. Writing helps me through grief, loss, and remembrance. I’ve written about each special person in the past, and perhaps I will again in the future.

Here’s one post about my dear friend and mentor, Reta Jane Carter.

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